Like this:

I’m laying in bed right now, hoping to fall asleep soon. Sure it won’t take long as life is wearing me out lately! My mouth is STILL numb from the dentists office, which I left over 4 hours ago! They had to shoot me up 3 times. It might be the worst feeling ever to THINK you are all good and numb and have the dentist get to drilling before you find…I CAN FEEL THAT & IT HUUURRRTTTSS!! Shot number 2 comes and you are sure that there is just no way it could happen again & OUUUCCHH!!! It happens. AGAIN! Dear God it just isn’t right to have to get 3 shots in 1 side of your mouth (in my dentists defense, she did get the left side with 1 shot only)!!

I spent the rest of the appointment clenched, waiting for the next shooting pain to come because after our first two episodes I wasn’t sure I could believe that the pain was over. As long as I could hear the drill I felt there was a pretty good chance I’d be suprised again, or not suprised…if I stood my ground.

I got out with my 4 total shots and no feeling from the neck to the nose. So why then, did I decide to meet my WOB at the gym?! It’s the toughest thing ever to breathe and sweat and need a drink and not be able to swollow one!! But I am the best, most dedicated WOB ever, and even though we couldn’t get machines together today, we were still there keeping each other going. For future reference, I advise against going to the gym post-dental work.

What’s the point? (I assure you, there is one though sometimes I admittedly take a bit to make it.) I got to thinking…in a very constructive sort of way, not all pity party like it half-way sounds…what is the better way to live life? And regardless of that answer, which way do I actually live my life?

Life hurts ya know?! People we love do stupid things over and over. People die. We get hurt physically & emotionally. So what do we do? Do we think because an incident hurt us so bad and we got over it that it couldn’t possibly happen again? Do we clench up and believe that the worst is yet to come? Or maybe a better question…how many times are you going to let somebody stick that giant painful needle in your mouth before you say “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”

The third time happened to be a charm today, and because Im a dreamer, when the first & second attempts at something dont work, I always believe the next one will. The problem I find myself in more often than not is that if the third time fails I just wanna keep trying again and again and again! I’m not good at failing. I don’t do it very often but when I do, it becomes my mission to rectify it…because more so then I dream – I believe.

I never understood how people could give up! If you want something, anything…to lose weight, to fall in love, run a marathon, run a half marathon, finish a triathlon, own a home, have the job of your dreams, the car of your dreams, a family…whatever it is you want…how could you quit trying for it?! What if that next attempt was going to be it! What if the next time you asked that person out was going to be the time they realized how they felt about you? Or that run you feel is just a mile too long gives you your very first runners high?! What if that next kiss is the one that puts all the last ones to shame?! Or that next race is your PR for that race length?! If you give up, you miss out on so much good! Such victories you would never taste if you didn’t believe!

I am not so naive to say there is no pain with believing. I know that in believing my faith will be immensely tested…in everything I believe in…God, myself, my abilities, others, their abilities. I know in refusing to fail I may have more let downs than someone who quits. I may get injured where they would not. I may be embarrassed or hurt in ways they will never know…but it’s the hope of attaining the end result that drives a force stronger than any quitter will ever know! It’s a force that drives me everyday. I will not apologize for it. And I wouldn’t sacrafice any pain I am caused because the acheivement, the success, the triumph is worth all the sorrow and agony along the way!

Let me be so bold as to let you in on a winners secret: the more you go through to get where you’re going, the more the light at the end of the tunnel overshadows the bumps in the road that was your journey. I may give too many chances to people, I may push myself when people are telling me to slow down, be in the gym when the lights go out, be up before the sun rises…but I’ll still be dancing long after the music stops, run past the finish line & love with all I have, heartbreak after heartbreak. In my opinion a life less lived is no life at all.

I hope you are a dreamer. I pray you are a believer. But if you aren’t, stick with me a while…maybe I can convice you why it’s so awesome to be both!

Today I love: Novacaine

Song of the Day: Give Me Novacaine By: Greenday

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